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I am so seemingly tired. Day 5 in the hospital.4 My mum has this kidney infection that gone quite wrong.

I run everyday several times from hospital to my house. Have to do house work, water the plants, make fruit juice, did laundry for my mum (serious diarrhea,or else nothing to wear)..

Then I have to be at the hospital the other time to take care and monitor her. There is no Chinese in the hospital so I have to translate things for my mum. The nurse won't literally shower her, so I am on it.

My mum has to be remind of to drink water every 30 minutes, that's on me.

Then I have to fetch my dad from another place to the hospital then back to his house then back to my home. 4 ways everyday. I stayed up late, wake up early , cleaning the house as well.  Going to shop fruits, diapers and other stuff for my mum.

Not to forget I have to attend to. Yesterday it was to Kuchai Lama. And I will need to go back for second interview. Tomorrow morning it will be to RHB KL headquarter for a…
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Can't really calm down

My phone has been giving me lots of troubles. Now it has come to an ultimate point for me.

It can't last for more than 5, which in fact I time it so it lasts about 2 minutes and restarts from there repeatedly.

At least my laptop and phone does take turn to get screw. So I would still have something in hand.

Obviously I can't go online without data share by hotspot through my phone. Thus my mum's phone is providing that service now. That phone has its own problems.

Most electronic products in my household got their own unique character.

Eg. my washing machine has a unique way of shaking itself and made interesting noise. Many at times it just stop working half way, a few restarts would proven its stubborn nature. By the way if you plan to give up and take out your laundry to hand wash instead, it won't let you. The machine door is strictly closed until it decides to let go. Well at least that is a good place to store your dirty laundry.

The ceiling fan or the light or …


What do you still miss? Actually nothing much.

I used to miss my A level life way too much. Eventually I moved on and completed my degree then the bar exam.

I should be happy I guess. I am at a new stage of my life now.

Though my fancy level on how my life should turn out decreased to a moderate level which is closer to the reality.

I am a pessimist that can't be change. Still I had some pretty expectation on how Uni life should be, thanks to all the drama portrayed by the media.

Year end, supposedly everyone is happy. Your year end bonus is along the way. Christmas is coming and so be the New Year. All of us shall have a new beginning.

If you work hard, year end will be when you collect your reward. If this year is tough on you, at least a new start is coming so things should be different somehow.

I really do not know what would turn out to be. Of course I wish for something good.

I wish that I am stronger. I wish that nobody get hurt directly or indirectly because of me. I wish…

Tiny bit of human being

Job hunt is kinda tiring. Sometimes I wish the jobs would simply hunt me back.

Anyways, nothing really special been going on.

I am back to my vegetarian state. Get hungry easily. Fighting hard to resist temptation of meat.

I realized it is hard to understand and dissect people belief. We simply have different approach in life. It does not automatically make us bad or good people. Belief works in strange way that I can seem to look through them.

I just do not like hypocrite. And by believing in one thing but doing another seem deceiving to me. Yet I can somehow understand how it turns out that way. We want something, but that could eventually turn out to be too great for us to handle.

I wish human relationship does not get too complex. Currently anything stem from friendship should try the full avoidance for it to turn up as something more than that.

Interestingly, if you are single your only problem could just be you are single. When you are in a relationship the problem is more than…

The moment of confusion

I don't know what page of my life I am currently in.

I like to say I am lost. Yet I feel that I have never been more lost in my life than now.

My life does not seem like a total failure in the common society standard. I didn't drop off from school, either high school or college. I completed my L.LB, despite it is just an external law program. Then I took my local bar exam once, conditional pass and resit for that one paper. Result haven't come back, I am not the worst kind of trash, that's what I am trying to say.

For some people. it is good life. There is education. Although the physical looking part is rather disappointing. Overall it is not that disastrously terrible. I am never on drugs or smoke or alcohol. If that would mean anything, I am still a virgin so no sexually transmitting disease record or unwanted pregnancy record.

Utterly boring, I see.

One thing I am lost is my sexuality. Am I gay or bisexual or pansexual, or anything in between. As time passes I am …

Compete for love

Everyone want happiness and love in their life.

I want to believe that there is some kind of love which is always there for you. We called it unconditional love.

It is that kind of love Christianity propose they are giving it. Your God Father always love you that he sent his only son to die in suffering for you.

Back on earth, today I feel slightly uneasy thus I need to update this post, for myself. If accidentally someone else is reading this and feel something, I wish it has some positive impact on you.

My mother has 3 children, I have 2 siblings. My brother is 21 years, while my sister is 20 years older than me. Technically we didn't grow up together. They watched me growing up.

Today is my mother's birthday. The night before I was thinking about buying her a cake and celebrate it with her. Then I recall she has this weird belief that if I mentioned it is her birthday expressly to her, it brings bad luck to her.

The next day my sister called and wish her Happy Birthday. My…

New laptop

I have got a new laptop. First time trying HP product. I haven't adapt to the new keyboard.

My first laptop branded DELL and to me it sucks. This new laptop comes with 15.6 inches rather than the old 14 inches I had.

There are spaces between each key now.

I am not as angry as I was. I changed my mind on leaving the legal field. The marketing and direct sales interview I went for, it is to some extent creepy.

It works for some people. I read some really good article online and I thought I am not writing this that's why I have such a big gap to chase over.

Love to write is one thing, being really good at it is another. That involve a lot of planning and practice.

Job hunting will still go on. I think tonnes of rejections still awaiting. I have to stay strong.

Life is an adventure of course. There is so much needed to be learn and so much more mistakes to be made.

Right now my main focus is about a job, financial independence and other things come secondary, especially relations…